Have you ever heard something like… "I told you so," "I'm telling you to be careful," "I'd love to have more time for myself," "I wouldn't know how to live without my child." These are phrases many moms and dads have admitted to using when it comes to their children. Sometimes, the power of words creates uncomfortable emotions in the people who hear them. In general, this type of phrase has a direct impact on how our children feel, and can lower their self-confidence or their trust in coming to us to communicate. How would you describe your relationship with your children? Do they know how to communicate what they need? Who takes care of their needs? All human beings need to communicate. From a very young age, we express some of our needs through crying or laughing, which is how we manage to communicate that we're hot, hungry, or sleepy. We start by forming emotional connections with the people who care for us, usually our mother and father, from whom we learn how to relate to others and to understand that there is a secure base of protection where these primary caregivers are available and willing to be there for us. But what happens when that connection isn't quite right? Respecting our children's needs is very important, because they will always need an adult, and that's where the importance of the kind of relationship we have with them lies — that is, the bond or connection we build, which goes beyond simply being nearby. Meeting needs for love, care, and protection, among others, is part of the secure attachment that we, as responsible adults, need to build so that when our children grow up, they can have healthier relationships, better emotional independence, know how to manage their feelings, recognize their own space, and handle life's situations in the best possible way. Building healthy bonds with our children means teaching them that being together is something we enjoy, and that being apart is seen as something natural. Forming good relationships with them is part of having an attachment that isn't anxious, dependent, or unhealthy, and doesn't create problems — but is instead a secure relationship. How do I know if I have a secure attachment with my child? You are present and aware in the moment you're sharing with them, without losing sight of who you are as a person. You accompany and guide them, honor your experience as an adult, and recognize the stage your child is in, without trying to rush their development. You know how to set limits to protect them and give them a sense of security and independence. You express what you feel with words, through touch, or through gestures. You enjoy their company and also look for time for yourself. If you answered yes to 3 or more of these, you're on the right track when it comes to secure attachment with your children. If not, consider the following recommendations: How to build secure attachment? Let them gradually learn to do things on their own, give them options, let them choose, and allow them to make mistakes without fear. Validate what they feel. When you notice they're sad, angry, happy, etc., go to them, name the emotion, and share a story where you felt the same way, so they recognize that it's okay to feel emotions. Watch them. There's nothing better than being seen — make it clear and tell them you notice what they do, what they don't do, and what they want to do. Protect them. Make them feel that you're there for them whenever they truly need you. Empower them. Show them that they're capable of doing different activities, tasks, or games — this will build their self-confidence. Celebrate their achievements. Celebrate whenever they finish an activity, no matter how simple it may seem. Remember… One of the keys to secure attachment is showing children that they can trust us in everything they do, and this is built through the sense of security we give them to discover, create, and explore. This type of attachment can be built with any adult who is in contact with your children — it isn't exclusive to parents; it also develops at school. That's why it's very important for us to focus on raising happy, secure children who are prepared for the future, in an environment where their self-esteem and ability to manage their emotions are nurtured hand in hand with their families. With us, your children learn in a safe environment of free and guided exploration to support their optimal development. They learn through play, which helps them begin to follow rules and interact with other children in order to solve problems, express what they feel, nurture their curiosity, develop their creativity, and discover things together in an environment where safety, wellbeing, love, fun, and health come first. DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE: https://dev.elyxirdigital.com/cbnh/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/CBNH-Apego-seguro.pdf
